Jokes for the Day

Jokes for the Day

WARNING : 18SX hor.

There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked.
The cucumber "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad."

The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar."

The penis looks at him and says, "You think you have it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!."

OOO

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.

The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"

"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this... When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?-

OOO

A little boy and girl at school were having lunch in the shelter shed.

"Tommy," she said, "I'm not eating any more chicken sandwiches."

"Why?" he asked.

"'Cause I'm starting to grow feathers down here," she said, pointing to the bottom of her tummy.
"I don't believe you," he said. "You'll have to show me."

Behind the shed they went, where the inspection took place.

"You're right," he said. "I've been eating a lot of chicken also. Perhaps I'm getting feathers too."

"Well, I'd better have a look," she said.

After a lengthy examination, she looked up and said, "Oh, I think it's too late for you. You've got the neck and giblets too."