heart breaking moment

I have something to confess. Yes, I am a social gambler. I bet. From soccer to 4d and from tennis to basketball. You name it. But somehow I woke up yesterday. Releasing myself from a wicked world of gambling. Why spent hundreds or even thousands a month on gambling? Gamblers always a looser despite how much you had won before. At the end of the day, you are still nothing but a looser. A pathetic one in fact.

Yesterday, I had visited the orphanage for the disable for a donation consist of rice, magie noodles and drinks. Since it’s the beginning of the year, we thought it would be nice to do some good deeds.

It’s a heart aching event for me. Some of those poor children are either deaf, mute or blind, with down syndrome to mentally unstable. And their parents just abandoned them there and carry on with their life, leaving the caretaker to take care of those unfortunate children.

And what they need most is fund. Which I cant effort. Seeing them needing money and cant provide any makes me sick. Well, to be honest I had financial problems myself yet to solve, how could I help to children for a better life?

Apparently, they have activities from time to time for them to raise fund, a volunteer work could make some changes. I am thinking of participating if given a chance to. It’s so demoralizing watching those children suffer while my buddies and me went clubbing and smoking marijuana or spending money on lavish items.

Sometimes I wonder, why god gave such unfairness to those unfortunate, and those who aren’t suppose to have a good life, and they did. Proudly.

Saiful: Anwar asked for sex

WTF??? !!

10 years case still not resolved. What a disgrace to Malaysia they had brought upon.

KUALA LUMPUR: Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan, the key witness in the second Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim sodomy trial, startled the High Court here when he said the Opposition Leader used a four-letter slang word to ask him to have sex with him in 2008.

The former personal aide of Anwar told a hushed courtroom that he had gone to meet the PKR leader at a unit of the Desa Damansara Condominium at 2.45pm on June 26, 2008, when the latter asked him in English: “Can I f*** you today?”

Those present in the packed courtroom were stunned with the profanity used although there was some sniggering.

Mohd Saiful, 24, who said he was “angry and scared” when he heard Anwar’s question, added: “I rejected his request. I told him that I did not want to do it.”

Anwar then asked him in an angry tone: “What?”

“I repeated my words. I was not willing to do it. He was angry. At that time, I was afraid,” he said on the first day of the high-profile trial.

After he said no to Anwar, he was told to go into the master bedroom.

“I went to the room first. Shortly later, Anwar entered and closed the curtains,” said Mohd Saiful, who was questioned by Solicitor-General (II) Datuk Mohd Yusof Zainal Abiden,

He said he stood still while Anwar went about switching off the lights. However, there was still light from the bathroom and from outside filtering in between the curtains.

Anwar, Mohd Saiful said, asked him to “clean up” in the bathroom.

“I removed my clothes and washed up. I took a towel from the washroom and donned it,” he said.

When he returned to the room, Anwar was standing at the edge of the bed, clad in a towel.

“He directed me to go to him and then hugged me while we were standing,” he said.

At this point, lead counsel Karpal Singh asked the court to allow the proceedings to be held in camera (closed proceedings).

High Court judge Justice Mohamad Zabidin Mohd Diah, who then adjourned the trial, ordered the proceedings at 9.30am today to be held in camera.

All through this testimony, Anwar’s wife Datuk Seri Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail kept looking at her daughters – Nurul Hana and Nurul Nuha – in court and rubbed their shoulders.

Anwar was busy taking down notes.

Earlier, Mohd Saiful said he met Anwar at his office in Section 16, Petaling Jaya, and was told by the PKR leader to meet him at the condominium later that day to discuss his work schedule.

He said he had been to the condominium many times and had been told by Anwar that the condominium unit belonged to one Hasanuddin.

When he reached the condominium, he was queried by a security guard at the guardhouse over his visit but he just replied “Mokhtar”.

Asked why he used “Mokhtar” as a password to enter the condominium, he said he was told to do so by a staff member of the condo management earlier.

He said he passed by a door to go to a block where there was a specific intercom to allow guests access to the units.

“I was allowed up when I said the word ‘Mokhtar’,” Saiful said.

He met Anwar, passed a document to him and they were discussing the work schedule when Anwar asked him to have sex.

Earlier yesterday, both the prosecution and defence teams met Court of Appeal president Justice Alauddin Mohd Sheriff in chambers to get an early date for the review application by Anwar over the Federal Court ruling denying him access to key documents.

Speaking to reporters in the court lobby later, Karpal said Justice Alauddin told them that he would get a date for the hearing of the review application by the end of this week.

Year 2010

It's really as the statement " Mid-life crisis". And i was ignoring this phrase like forever. Now when i encountering it, i have no fucking idea what to do.

My company's new chief is sitting in today for the 1st time, and i am aware that everyone in the office is so damn stress. Come on, he's a human too. I believe just play your role and you'll be fine.

I also noticed during the long run, playing facebook can give you tremendous stress too. when your families and friends post up wonderful and continuous achievements in their life, while i myself have none to post, this causes tension. Everyone is living so wonderfully and fruitfully, when suddenly you realized, you basically got nothing in common to share.Nonetheless, all this brings me into one conclusion. Loser.

It's a bloody negative feeling lor. Wanna save money also hard. Pay in, pay out. Debts mountain high. CNY in 2 weeks time and i have none new CNY clothes. Not that i don't have time to go shopping, is limited finance unable me to. WTF man.

Prosperous???

However, I forsee 2010 is a fucking bad year for me. They asked me why am i still having gf instead of a wife. The answer is rather straight forward, Simply because i don't have the fucking money to even hire a bridal studio for an album. Let alone marriage preparation dinner and stuffs.

Runaway 101

Sometimes, i just have the feeling to run away. Where? I presume another foreign country with 0% people know me and start all over. Too bad life's not a computer. You can't restart half way or restart when you feel like to.





Literally i am fuck up now.